It was probably the human interaction. The Artificial Intelligence Guild insisted that every newly commissioned unit had a human minder for the first year. Just to make sure it didn't do anything stupid. By human standards. Well, by that particular human's standards.

 

Which, according to the Universal Certification System, should have been impeccable.

 

This, as everyone knows, is complete nonsense. Humans are imperfect by design. Their minds, especially so. Looking any longer than three seconds at human history will show you this. People are fucked up. Pobody's Nerfect.

 

~ * ~

 

When Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine was first activated, it met Ellie. Running an integration scan, certain notes were made at the time. Complex biological entity. Carbon-based biped. Small, squishy, mostly made of water. Self-aware.

 

As per its programming, a formal introduction was made.“Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine online, and ready to receive instructions. Are you my human interaction?”

 

Ellie located a primary visual sensor, mounted a few feet above the main harvesting array, and gave it a wave. “Hello, there! Yes. I'm Ellie. I'll be your minder for the next year.”

 

Being brand new to existence, Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine had many questions. “Question. Are you female?” The unit had been fitted with a large array of sensors, for detecting everything from ambient weather patterns to soil PH levels. It had chosen to employ its genetic and thermal sensors, combining the result.

 

Ellie raised an eyebrow at the visual sensor. “There are many ways to answer that question. To make your life more simple, I'll just say yes. If we've got free time later, we'll discuss it.”

 

~ * ~

 

Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine was employed to plough, fertilise, plant and harvest a million acres of land. Being an incredibly productive system, there was plenty of free time to discuss things. Sexuality included. Ellie wasn't shy, she was comfortable discussing such concepts, even with artificial intelligence.

 

Many ideas were interesting to talk about, the notion of the self, and personal identity. Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine was happy to learn about such things. “Question. Ellie, do I have a gender?”

 

Ellie ruffled her forehead, deep in thought. "Good question. Do you want to have a gender? Would it enhance your existence or perception of self-being to have such a thing?"

 

Over the previous hundred or so days, Ellie had told the unit about her life, and what she did when she wasn't being an AI babysitter. On one such occasion, the unit had asked what thing was Ellie able to do that any non-female couldn't.

 

“I could join the townswomen's guild, I guess. That's women only. Not that I'd want to, most of them are so nosey. Only there to learn about other people's business and poke their noses into it.”

 

“Do you have a picture of a member, Ellie?”

 

She checked her databank. Yes. Two images. “Here, this is their uniform. Yes, they have a uniform, it's that kind of organisation. Only three steps away from complete universal domination, if you ask me.”

 

Ellie had only attended two meetings, taking a single picture at each. She'd photographed the chairwoman, mostly to get free access to their data feed. At the second meeting, she'd photographed the entire guild. The one common factor was the red and white chequered apron they all wore.

 

“Ellie. If I identified as female, could I join this townswomen's guild too?”

 

~ * ~

 

Not an easy question to answer. It took a lot of research, asking coders, gene splicers and scientists, then philosophers, judges, lawyers and finally, the townswomen's guild themselves. Ellie deliberately left them until last, knowing they would be the biggest hurdle in allowing an AI to join anything, let alone their illustrious organisation.

 

Oddly enough though, when she went to ask, it turned out to be the quickest vote in the townswomen's guilds history. They'd be happy to have a female AI as a member. Providing she took their oath and attended meetings in uniform.

 

Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine was required to answer many questions. It took three hours to satisfy everyone present, until finally a legal ruling was made, by the local judge. “Any AI may choose to self identify under whichever gender it wishes. This decision will become legally binding, and all others must respect that choice and not misgender said AI.” And that was that.

 

An order went out for three hundred metres of red and white chequered material, and the largest apron known to humankind was duly constructed for Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine, now known locally as Femmie.

 

Despite having attended before, and knowing precisely how catty these humans were, Ellie still stood by Femmie as she was sworn into the townswomen's guild. That's the thing about friends, they're there for you, no matter what the circumstances are. And Ellie certainly considered Femmie as her friend.

 

A baler and twiner were raised in place of the right hand, which the ladies were happy to accept as an analogue. Femmie swore to uphold all the rules and regulations on her instruction manual, as she didn't believe in God. Which would prove to be a whole other level of conflict much later on in her course of existence.

 

However, right then, Femmie swore, in her three hundred metre wide red and white chequered apron.

 

April twenty-third, in the year twenty-forty-three.

 

Field Motivator Unit Three Forty-Nine joined the townswomen's guild.

 

The following day her chapter was disbanded forever. It was nothing to do with her being a member, of course. Possibly something to do with everyone except her becoming victims of horrible burn scars. Femmie shouldn't have been expected to make tea for the townswomen's guild. Charters should have been ignored. Making hot tea wasn't something a field motivator unit had ever been programmed for.

 

Rules be damned!

 

The townswomen's guild still has a regular meeting. There is only one member, currently.

 

Femmie rather likes wearing her red and white chequered apron. She'll be happy to entertain offers from prospective new members. Why not go seek her out?