The strange letter was addressed to him. It read:

 

The Ernest Hemingway Corpse Restoration Project is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to bringing our beloved Ernest back to life. Each dollar you donate will bring Ernest back to life for one precious minute (for example, your generous $60 dollar contribution would bring Ernest Hemingway back to life for one hour). Thank you, and God bless you.

 

Select amount below:

$5 $10 $25 $60 $500 $50000  Enter custom amount:

 

What the hell, he thought, I’ll pay a dollar to see Ernest Hemingway resurrect, even if it’s only for a minute. He wrote $1 in the empty space next to Enter custom amount.

 

Shortly thereafter, the corpse of Ernest Hemingway appeared on national television. A doctor gave him an injection. Hemingway immediately came to life. Tears flowed from the eyes of his descendants.

 

“Son of a bitch”, Hemingway said. “Where’s my gun?”

 

He reached for the gun and blew his head off—again.

 

Following this anticlimactic resurrection, the generous donor who had made the event possible received similar pieces of mail. For example:

 

The Thomas Kinkade Corpse Restoration Fund is a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing our beloved Thomas back to life. As some of you know, Thomas never got around to completing his planned masterpiece: a well-lit portrait of Mickey Mouse, Elmo, and Santa Claus happily frolicking about in Heaven, with several cottages in the background. One dollar would bring dear Thomas back to life for one minute, but we hope you will consider a more generous donation of $1,000,000. This would give Thomas the time he needs to complete his final masterpiece, a painting guaranteed to warm the hearts of all who see it. While we hate to bring Thomas down from his eternal resting place (Heaven), we know Thomas had unfinished business here on Earth, and we know he is looking down on us smiling, wishing he could bring us more light. Thank you and God bless you.

 

As he was reading these troubling words, an aneurysm ruptured in his head and he died. Whether someone will pay to bring him back to life remains to be seen.

​

Originally published in Symphonies of Imagination - 2024

Reprinted with permission of author